random ish

lessons in forgivness

After I hit my personal rock bottom,there have been THREE  major turning points in my life.

The first major turning point was when I FINALLY decided to exit a long term toxic relationship. The relationship began with best of intentions and a lot of love, but, in the end, it wasn’t serving either of our best interests. Immediately (within hours) after leaving that relationship, The Uni-verse began to support my new ideals and goals. Once I left, I started to create space for new and better things to enter my life. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life because I equated leaving that relationship to death. I thought I would be nothing without the relationship.

The second major turning point happened when I finally forgave both myself and the other person. It was a very humbling experience. I had to look back and see WHY I attracted this person into my life and what part I PLAYED in the toxic patterns. Once I saw my side of the road clearly, it made a lot of sense why this person showed up in my life and why things turned out the way they did.

For me the process of forgiveness has been a slow one. I am still not totally done with it, but I find that the more I forgive myself and the other person, the more The Uni-verse supports my dreams.

It’s almost as if this person was sent in my life to teach me forgiveness and also show me that not only am I someone awesome outside the relationship, but that the only way I could ever really find my Real Self was to go through so much pain and finally say ENOUGH!

Now that I understand this, I send this person love and gratitude daily. I do not blame them, nor is there a charge around them anymore. I see clearly why things happened the way they did, what my role was and how I can benefit from the lessons that I learned. 

Forgiveness makes life better. It just does. When you forgive yourself and others, you set them free and create space for a brand new life. If there is anyone in your life that you need to forgive, I highly suggest doing it as soon as possible. If you can’t forgive them for their sake, then forgive them for yours. Forgiveness will make your life better in so many ways. It’s time to let go and move on. 

The third turning point is when i started dating my husband. all of the love was radiating left me open to experience real true love and happiness. from that past pain beauty emerged inside and out. i am eternally grateful for all of the pain. saying that if you want to see the rainbow you have to first walk through the rain is so true for me. sometimes i feel like im in my own personal fairytale.but in the end i am happy i forgave the people who hurt me with the exception of one m still holding on to the pain and forgiving them seems to be the hardest things i will ever have to in my life. but im sure once i let it all go i will be in heaven on earth.

I love u

Why is it that so many people..men mostly(some women too) think its ok to throw the words “I love you” around? Is it mostly because of selfishness or is it because they wanna love but they don’t know how? Either way its fucked up because the other person in the situatution gets hurt…*sigh* lesson learned though.

cupcake catastrophy

this place is located in walnut creek, california. i have to say in all honesty the cupcake i had here was terrible. it tasted very artificial and it smelled fake. it was supposed to be a strawberry lemonade but it tasted like crap. the cake was way to dense and felt as if it was made with shortening instead if real butter. i want to say they may have used imitation vanilla extract instead of the real stuff. in general the cupcake was just nasty. and to think they had the nerve the charge tax witch puts the total cost of the cupcake at $3 freggin dollars.. really?..ggive me a break..smh.. i was always told that fancy decorations is just a cover up for whats its lackin and that cupcake was seriously lacking something..o yeah..here is a link to the website..http://www.frostingbakeshop.com/frosting/menu.html….they look yummy but they taste like ish with a s…soo in all one place down a whole lot more to go…next up is american cupcake on mission street in san francisco..stay tuned!